Wednesday, September 11, 2013

Stand Up Or Crawl...

I reached a point in this world where success or even getting out into the rat race daily seems very pointless to me. What I share for free on youtube, or here, or soundcloud is simply there if and when you want. I know for a fact some of my stuff is bust a gut funny and funnier than much of what the bigshots on TV get paid for. 

Maybe one day I will return to live performance but right now I ask myself, why? So I am biding my time taking my cuts at the evil in the world, creating on my own time in my own way and letting go and letting fate take its course. I have had about 20 people donate about 3000 dollars to me in the last two years and that 50 bucks always comes in handy and unexpectedly often is in a nick of time. I feel guilty that it's always the same people and that they are struggling themselves and therefore I would rather get nothing than have the same people donate. I wish there was a rich person or two out there who would donate but I guess rich people don't do anything unless it helps them. Only the struggling do it and I am pretty sure if their is a God he or she or it sees that and takes note.

To me giving a vast amount of work away that makes you laugh very hard is indeed a job and deserving of a few bucks here and there but I loathe chasing money in traditional ways. For example, if someone hires me to produce a video. No problem, you needed my service and I am glad to do my best and get paid. But for me to cold call businesses it always becomes unpleasant because even when I sell someone my craft the psychology is different. People resent being sold something even when they openly embrace it and make the entire process difficult, especially collecting final payment. I feel more the beggar chasing my money and or looking at a business owners face when I jingle that doors bell and they have an expression of, oh crap what are you selling. So the go get them capitalistic enterprise is something I don't enjoy and I feel way less the beggar by leaving it up to the occasional impulse of a stranger out there in the world to throw a paypal donation my way. This allows me to simply be free to create and free to be humbled and grateful. 

Do people understand how going out into the world actually costs way more than staying home? Out there you need a car and gas and car repairs and insurance and pay tickets and license and permits and that alone is huge to keep up with. If you take the bus that adds up also. My rent for my room is inexpensive and my few bills, phone, internet and food, not too outrageous... but I have no surprises like a car accident or speeding ticket or the out of the blue incidences of what happens out there. My Great Uncle Lenny always said, "maintain don't over train."

I am waiting on this RV of currency. I believe it 100% that it is going to happen. If and when it happens I am going to use the money to make films and music and books and pay PR firms to help me sell it.

As far as all this good versus evil truthing stuff goes, that is just me. All my life fighting for the underdog was ingrained into me. I remember sticking up for the picked on kids at recess. To have come to know how there really is no free enterprise out there just cronyism, nepotism, and especially a huge lie by omission called the District of Columbia that is a constant con game of audacious proportions that only a coward or a moron would accept without a fight. Every time I take a swing at the lie I feel alive. I am playing for a team of individuals out there I don't even know. Since I don't know who is a faker and who is real all I know is there are real people out there fighting the good fight and that is all I need to know. Death by a thousand cuts whoever they are. We work for the golden rule.

I hate walking the fine line of what people don't understand because they are brainwashed and simply splintered to the point they engage in knee jerk reactions based on reading a few words. Unfortunately one needs to read way more than that to understand the very complex conspiracy woven with brilliant psychologies for centuries. If you are poor and struggling I am telling you do not defend a religion or a skin color or some other hot button because they share your color or religion or whatever, because I am not attacking the poor and struggling, I am attacking the elite who hide behind that stuff and use you as a human shield. If your religion or color or sex or whatever, happens to always have all the best jobs and best real estate and they make all the decisions that decide everyone elses fate, I am telling you they are engaged in deceit and monopoly and corruption because the system is set up that way. If you are a hard working Jew who got everything you own from hard work and or talent or struggle, I am not talking to you. If on the other hand, if being jewish or white or male or blue blood or freemason or in an elite club has given you special breaks, and you call me an antisemite, or racist, or unamerican, or a conspiracy nut for daring to question fairness and justice in a world that only pretends to serve those things, then I am essentially calling liars liars, murderers murderers, and devils devils, and THEY HATE THAT.  I am always amazed at a persons ability to rationalize their greed and inexcusable me first attitudes as just being gifted and deserving because of it.

One example is I sent about 10 manuscripts to Hollywood over the course of 30 years and I watched all my ideas come out in other peoples films. I have every right to be livid at those who run Hollywood and steal other peoples intellectual property. Those scripts ironically were bleeding heart liberalist in theme and yet I found the hard way that liberalism is one of the slickest trojan horses of tyranny known to humanity. The emotionalism that fuels liberalism is the excuse the state uses to decide what people think and therefore that allows the state to decide what can be said or thought or written and punished and that erases freedom and hands power to the thought police all based on a squeamish hysteria brought on...often through faked emotional events like a person of color or sexual preference being brutalized to lead lemmings off the cliff... events often staged by the elite con state to control the masses, to keep you poor and struggling and them as power brokers... because conscience does not get in their way. Liars know lying is lucrative when the liar collective knows the other 99% are their servants because they swallow the lies hook line and sinker.

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