Bull Report by Geno Kalmes
The World Court, The United Nations, Congress and The Funny Hat Society convened over the weekend to decide what to do about bullshit. Upon reviewing as much bullshit as they could in two days and discussing bullshit and making bullshit predictions and coming up with bullshit scenarios, the foremost authorities on Bullshit, trained in Bullshit Universities to teach bullshit over the last two centuries plus, decided that their bullshit was the best bullshit of all and unanimously declared their bullshit as gospel and are re-writing Holy Books once again to further their religious teaching of bullshit with an eye on crossing their bullshit with Textbooks on Science, Math, English, Literature and especially History to make sure their bullshit was the only bullshit the next generation would ever repeat.
The main bullshit discussed was the bullshit on the internet that sought to dispel the official bullshit with what some were calling so called truth bullshit-- like 911 being a bunch of bullshit no rational science minded person could accept if they weren't bullshitting themselves. Other bullshit discussed was how the banks were writing bullshit policy that put their control above what they considered to be useless eater bullshit whose bullshit was so useless that they would need to issue food stamps to the vast majority of the population to feed them with GMO bullshit that would hurry up the dying process. The other bullshit high on their agenda was vaccine bullshit where people with clean water and organic food without pollutants being rained upon them from airplanes spraying chemicals (chemtrails) which was a mix of aluminum, barium and other highly toxic bullshit would be way healthier than if they injected a cocktail mix of fetuses, mercury, antifreeze and other bullshit sure to seed hundreds of new diseases that Doctors would bullshit their way through making the Pharmaceutical companies even richer by "managing disease" rather than "curing disease" which is a whole lot of bullshit if you ask me.
The main point of the bullshit agenda was of course to cover up all the bullshit they thought people were too dumb to notice and someone asked whose bullshit idea was it to shovel so much bullshit on the masses that they were woken up by suffocating under bullshit and someone said well, when we employ such mottos in the world as By Deception We Shall Do War and teach dirty tricks in Army War College it was sort of predictable that bullshit would lead to more bullshit and may the best bullshitter win. "Yes" someone said, but how does bullshit help humanity to evolve and solve bullshit like the bullshit we have unleashed on the Earth by us playing big know-it-all bullshit Gods with bio-warfare and uranium based weaponry and nuclear waste and the bullshit done to the environment trying to pull bullshit out of the ground to run engines that could easily run on less toxic bullshit and how even their uneducated illegal alien Mexican gardener knows the difference between what pollutes the planet and what jeopardizes the planet with bullshit that works against nature and not with nature but then someone said that is where our bullshit sustainability movement comes in with Agenda 21 bullshit.
Those who never really paid much attention to the bullshit in government or in the general populace were starting to half listen to the bullshit and wonder what was bullshit and what wasn't bullshit. Everything is pretty much bullshit said A Republican Senator and then a Democratic Senator rose and scolded him for using the word "bullshit" in the hallowed halls of bullshit. We need to blame someone for the bullshit and throw them under the bus someone said and they all agreed but since bullshit leaves a trail to other bullshit they worried that whoever they threw under the bus mightout the bullshit they had been asked to pass into legislation as being part of some blackmail bullshit-- and drug and gun running bullshit-- and they all sort of froze up thinking-- fuck I'm connected to that bullshit.
The internet was definitely to blame for all the bullshit getting out about their bullshit and someone said we need to fund more bullshit to cover up the bullshit with so much bullshit no one knows what is bullshit and what is like UFO's and Chupacabras and Ninjas and other such bullshit. They all agreed to have the Pentagon staff Internet control rooms with bullshit artists who would pick bullshit fights to distract people from the bullshit that was as plain as the nose on their faces.
Someone said, well most of our forces can barely spell and someone else said who cares about that bullshit just get close, besides that little red line under the word and a right click shows the proper spelling and if people can't figure that bullshit out we are in trouble because the dumbing down of the mass population may have been the dumbest bullshit idea the Rockefeller foundation ever funded along with the many fucked up bullshit foundations they funded to further their bullshit on humanity so they might inherit the Earth by default.
After all, someone had to know what was bullshit and what wasn't bullshit. Might as well be the purveyors of the bullshit right?
Once they had all had lunch, which was a choice of prime rib, chicken or fish with some fancy bullshit chef garnishing on the side they decided to put this new bullshit idea to a vote. They called the Act, Our Bullshit is Gospel Act and anyone caught repeating anything but their bullshit would be taken to a camp for re-education or extermination.
Happy with this bullshit decision they agreed to meet again in two months and the bullshit came to an end for the time being, although their was plenty of bullshit they didn't discuss including the bullshit some dude on a blog accused them of which was being guilty of perpetuating bullshit above and beyond bullshit which apparently is against some bullshit in the Constitution and Bill of Rights and the Magna Carta. Which wasn't Bullshit but treated as bullshit by the bullshitters who bullshitted their way into positions of power taking a bull sized shit on the oath they swore to uphold.
Don't look for this bullshit on the news though they are covering some Clooney Bullshit instead.