Open Minded Juror
...It's your job to consider ALL the evidence -- funny, absurd and horrifying truth... (?)
Monday, February 11, 2013
Googling Geno Kalmes
The Search for Sarcastic Life...
I traveled one billion light years for this uncomfortable moment...
January 16, 2012 at 7:56 PM
Dear Professor PoopyPants we at the Institution of Blogformational Research and Screen name Studies a think tank commissioned by the Institute to Institutionalize Pretty Much Everyone---- would like to reward you with the honorary degree of Observational Acuteness as first introduced at the turn of the 19th century when One Theodore Theocratossky of Leningrad released his findings on the Siberian Ice Frog whose perpetual hopping allowed him to stay warm and one step ahead of the frozen elements and The Russian Vodka Snake known for making its home in empty Vodka bottles where the female would lay its eggs.
The correlation between the evolution of said habits with the late great Natasha of Ukrainian Hot Brides was to bring East together with West thus establishing a regrowth of hairy eyebrows and introducing the concept of Communistic Family Life whereas Male and Female and their offspring would share meals cooked in a kettle and not under any circumstance package, distribute and sell said Goulash to the Capitalistic Enemy that was surrounding the Soviet Block.
In a memo dated July 22 1971 Boris Yeltsin and Richard Nixon set forth the plan to communicate secretly through underwater Mermaids genetically created from the fetuses of aborted Eastern European Prostitutes crossed with Herring. The Program was revealed in 1982 When Nancy Reagan discovered Ronald Reagan smelled of Tuna.
George Bush acting on behalf of the CIA used this opportunity to send Young and upcoming Governor Bill Clinton abroad which Bill promptly put to good use. Hillary seconds.
Ten years later Al Gore having received a hockey stick for Christmas had an epiphany to tax breathing and make billions off a carbon tax. On 2001 September 11 a little heard of story was published in a science journal in Belgrade that called for a more thorough understanding of Flat Feet as it pertained to Country Line Dancing.
Ultimately that brings us to present day where a one AJ is the recipient of the Life Time Achievement Award for Mindless Heckling as it pertains to patience in the field of World Politics and Criminal Investigation. The award presented by founder of the Thanks for wasting space and offering nothing of import Foundation Rudolph H Poopypants of Hamburg, the father of Professor PoopyPants of Michigan State gave the go ahead for a review board of his Peers to develop a Monsanto hybrid of popcorn that when consumed by spectators who insist on knowing the end of a movie before anyone else knows the ending would find the overwhelming desire to actually do something helpful to bring about justice...or perhaps just wait and see patiently.
After a thorough analysis of the situation an apology was issued by the Loyal Order of the Blanc Chapeau a French order specializing in Whine made from Sour Grapes.
January 17, 2012 at 2:39 PM
Thanks for your amusing contribution. We all need to laugh once in a while, the more often, the better.
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