Monday, October 24, 2011

$30.00 Dollars Worth of Tuna and Spam

Most of us are circling the drain and grasping at what seems to be floating in this tsunami of debris. I clicked on an ad and I decided to fill out the damn dumbass forms. I did not understand what I signed up for. Seems to me I am now selling DVDs or CDs for those who want to learn how to get rich on the internet.


Um...Because the other guys applying are a century old,
 made out of dead body parts and will make your secretaries scream and stand on chairs...
                                                                           

This began the way things usually begin on the internet, one second you are looking up a recipe the next second you are watching a cat bite a baby's tongue then posting it on Facebook. I started out looking for a turnkey web site to interact paypal and ecommerce to hopefully blend my talents with begging.

I was soon at one of those get rich sites that stalk us like Jeffrey Dahmer on an empty stomach and after smoking a joint. But it claimed to be soooo easy that even a moron like me could do it. All I had to do was enter my pay pal account/email address,,, choose a site name and pick a number out of thin air... I could ask for 27 dollars to 197 dollars... I chose $30.00 LOL. Then I tried to figure out what the hell I just got myself into. Of course there were upgrades that required a credit card but I was promised something for nothing and dammit I was there to see if such a thing existed.


Sir, seems you are behind on gun payments, you will have to
 surrender it to our loan officer, we're so sorry...  Next....
                                                                               

The way I think this works is if somebody sends me the $30.00 bucks, they send the DVD or whatever and stalk you like Hannibal Lecter with a knife and fork and a bottle of red wine. But what I thought might be strangely hilariously beneficial to me was that it was sort of like when PBS sends you a DVD for a donation of a thousand dollars. Only in this case, the way I was interpreting this comeon was that the full 30 smackeroos was mine or possibly 75% of it. Not sure but it struck me as a ludicrous and absurdly funny idea for a way to make money, soliciting donations, and getting a damn twisted blog entry from it. All I need is people equally as insane as me to play along with this.


                                                                             
                                   Mom don't ask any questions just get your checkbook...
                                   Yes I'm at my new job... If you don't buy this service
                                   agreement they are going to lop off my head... I have to
                                   make quota by noon...


I have no idea whether this is bullshit or not. I am too broke to buy this thing myself. But this is a test for anyone out there who has thirty dollars and is willing to buy the thing and report back to me. Don't blame me, just buy the thing and tell me about it on the blog. I imagine that someone must actually make money at this or it wouldn't be there.

So, I will post the link and if you decide to pay the $30.00 dollars, in theory you get their INFO and I get a piece of their pie. I really don't know how much. If for some retarded reason this actually makes money, I will write an article about it.




 When you get home don't be surprised to find me in bed 
with your wife wearing your pajamas...!


So...again... Don't blame me if this somehow sucks ass. Don't ask me for 30 dollars back. Just write a blog entry and say why or what sucked about it and warn others not to. However if I actually get to keep some of the $30.00... Consider it a donation to help cure chronic loserness in America.


I mean it's not like I wasn't honest about this. I have no freaking idea what to expect or if I even filled out the damn website right. I probably have to upgrade myself before I make anything and like most of you I am baffled by this shit.

And I really need to get on with some other stuff like crying and napping and finding new innovative macaroni recipes. But if you have money and sort of feel sorry for this starving but striving artist who really should have been smarter about life 30 years ago. Pay the freaking $30.00 to my Paypal account on this Get Richamathingy and then come back here and say... Hey Geno... This is a bunch of crap. Or... Hey Geno... How much of my $30.00 did you get? And I'll say Yay or Nay... How much...and thank you and we can laugh about it... Okay?

Here's the link.  The best part is my photo at the bottom of the ad, make sure you scroll all the way down.

Geno needs Tuna and Bread

OR THOSE WHO WANT TO SKIP THE MILLIONAIRE TAPES AND WANT TO SIMPLY PUT ELECTRONIC DOLLARS IN AN ELECTRONIC HAT... My email for Paypal is

TVKalmes@gmail.com



The question people should ask themselves is, is Geno almost as entertaining as the TV set? You give those cable bastards thousands a year...

Help an electronic busker pay the electronic busking bill... And like a good little entertainment factory I will make more... Small donation to car size donations accepted...

1 comment:

  1. If you don't spit up part of your gall bladder laughing at this you are dead. See a Doctor. And after you click on the link and read a little bit about the deal, don't bail until you scroll all the way to the bottom and see the internet millionaire gurus picture and MINE along side it.

    I knew I posed for this picture for a reason and I finally got to use it in the most hilarious of places. And remember, if tears are rolling down your face as they are mine...cough up 30 bucks and play along.... This sort of laughter cures cancer ahead of time.

    ReplyDelete